...saturday evening
I have to get out . I have to move in this world or I'm going to die. I have to live my life. I see so much done by so many and here I sit; I can't do this anymore.
Don't know where the money's gonna come from. Sometimes that seems like the most disgusting aspect of our society - everything costs money. I hate money - I hate that I have to think about it. Why wasn't I born independently wealthy? Oh well, one thing at a time.
I think anyone who reads this blog is aware by now that I have not been happy in my marriage for quite sometime. I got into it for all the wrong reasons, and the last few years have destroyed whatever pretense remained. I hope we can begin our lives apart by the end of the year. The house goes on the block this month, as soon as it sells, we're done. This is not a decision I have made lightly; it goes against everything I was raised to believe. It goes against my own experience with the divorce of the parents of someone I knew long ago - an event that affected both of us profoundly. But I can't stay here anymore, I just can't. There is nothing here - we are roommates, nothing more. I do not hate my wife, I wish her no pain; but we are not in love. I hate that our son has to go through this, but I cannot live my life for him; he has his own. I hope someday he understands that.
I had love in my life once; centuries ago. The kind of love that consumes and breathes and fills every part of your existance. I hope I can find that again, I hope. I know it isn't here, never was.
I have to get out . I have to move in this world or I'm going to die. I have to live my life. I see so much done by so many and here I sit; I can't do this anymore.
Don't know where the money's gonna come from. Sometimes that seems like the most disgusting aspect of our society - everything costs money. I hate money - I hate that I have to think about it. Why wasn't I born independently wealthy? Oh well, one thing at a time.
I think anyone who reads this blog is aware by now that I have not been happy in my marriage for quite sometime. I got into it for all the wrong reasons, and the last few years have destroyed whatever pretense remained. I hope we can begin our lives apart by the end of the year. The house goes on the block this month, as soon as it sells, we're done. This is not a decision I have made lightly; it goes against everything I was raised to believe. It goes against my own experience with the divorce of the parents of someone I knew long ago - an event that affected both of us profoundly. But I can't stay here anymore, I just can't. There is nothing here - we are roommates, nothing more. I do not hate my wife, I wish her no pain; but we are not in love. I hate that our son has to go through this, but I cannot live my life for him; he has his own. I hope someday he understands that.
I had love in my life once; centuries ago. The kind of love that consumes and breathes and fills every part of your existance. I hope I can find that again, I hope. I know it isn't here, never was.
posted by David at 6:05 PM
9 Comments:
What Randy said.
I kind of sensed this was coming. A wise woman told me (just before I went through the same thing as you), "It will get worse before it gets better."
She was right. You know how to find me if you need to vent.
Good luck, Dave.
Don't look back. The future is too bright.
Good luck, Dave.
It seemed youse guys were so in love awhile back. What a shocker. Good luck friend.
What Ali said.
For me, the hardest part was admitting that it was over, that what I had thought existed didn't.
There is a future that will fill your whole being, Dave.
:hug:
I will give you a :hug: IN PERSON this weekend. And as many as you need.
You need to live your life for YOU, my friend. Too many people live their lives in misery for others, and I certainly don't want to see you be one of them.
i think its one foot in front of the other. walk out the door and find what you need. what you deserve.
i hope we both find it! :hugzzzz:
i share the same thoughts as everyone here has posted
just know that you are doing the right thing looking after yourself and your needs...the time has come
i want you to be happy, you deserve so much more
I hope you find happiness, Dave and that you find that love.
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